Memories from last month bring back happy thoughts but not without a few inevitable teary eyes as I reflect upon the loss I feel from not having my sister to talk to and share our lives as we had been accustomed to doing.
Sisters - Narene and Louise
During our phone visit the week of December 5th, we talked about decorating our homes for Christmas. She shared that this year she didn't have a real tree because it would have been hard to kneel down to keep it watered due to recovering from a knee replacement, and she appreciated the small artificial tree a friend had given her. She had been to the doctor to see if changing her medication would help the stomach problems she was experiencing, and the doctor had also scheduled an MRI for the following Tuesday. We talked about when she would be able to come for a visit to our home, as we had missed out this year on her coming for the usual autumn visit we had come to enjoy in the past. Louise was pleased she had been able to fly to Utah and attend her nephew Cody's wedding and be with her Utah family for Thanksgiving. Health issues did seem to be an important part of our conversation, as she was still recovering from her hernia surgery, continuing to need some physical therapy for her knee replacement, and wondering if the change in medication would help her stomach feel better.
On the 9th of December, Louise was out and about doing some errands even though she didn't feel great; but the next morning on Saturday, she woke with her stomach and back hurting and she could hardly stand up. The doctor had her come into emergency right away, and her good friend Shirley West drove her to Bakersfield. Not waiting for the scheduled one on Tuesday, they did an MRI and discovered the pancreatic cancer. She called me from the hospital to tell me. The prognosis was for two months, which turned out to be two weeks.
I am so grateful I flew to be with Louise on the 15th; and considering the circumstances, we had a wonderful visit. We shed some tears, but we had more happy moments and shared our love for each other. It is a time I will always treasure.
We were always very close,
but not always in miles.
All of Louise's family came to spend Christmas with her, and I returned home on December 20th. Early on Christmas morning, I received the call that sometime between midnight and 6:30 a.m., she had passed away peacefully in her own bed at home.
Louise enjoyed her home, and it was a blessing
she could remain in her home to the very end.
Except for needing pain medication and having
concern about her expanding abdomen, Louise
was able to enjoy the visits from friends and family.
Sam and I left for Utah on December 28th. Marla went with us; and Doug and Shannon's family returned to Utah, as they had come to spend Christmas with us in South Dakota. At Park City, Doug got in with us; and at Beth's in Spanish Fork we picked up Beth and Ryan and also Scott who had driven from Denver with Judd and Brittney who were returning to BYU after the holiday. So with five of our seven children, we got an early start on the morning of December 29th and drove to Shafter, CA, arriving just in time to change our clothes and go to the viewing at the funeral home. The funeral was the next day in Wasco.
Beautiful flowers flanked the white casket
at the viewing on the evening before the funeral.
Above the casket was a slideshow
with photos from Louise's life.
Our last photo with the three of us.
K. LeRoi and I miss Louise.
The next day before the funeral, K. and I
talked about how we would be at the podium together
and alternate our remarks
as we shared our tribute and memories of Louise.
"Goodbyes" are not easy.
Louises' sons were four of the pall bearers
(Marlowe, Lon, Kevin, and Blake), along with
Ray Bishop, Joseph D'Antonio,
David Nelson, and Scott Ireland.
At the close of the service at the cemetery in Shafter,
each of the pall bearers passed by the casket one by one
and placed his boutonniere onto the casket.
Before leaving, the four sons were given the rose
decoration from each corner of the casket.
I have no doubt that Louise was pleased with the funeral. I was even able to control my tears (pretty much) during my part of the talk that K. LeRoi and I gave together as her only siblings. I mentioned in my tribute that Louise had told me numerous times how pleased she was when she was told she had a baby sister. She always set a good example for me and I always knew her love was genuine.
This is the floral display from Sam and I
and our children.
It is comforting to know that Louise was spared the anticipated weeks of pain and suffering. She was able to spend Christmas Eve with her family and had spent Thanksgiving with family members in Utah, and she had visits and cards from numerous friends showing and expressing their love during those two weeks before she died. Most of all, it is comforting to know she spent Christmas Eve with her family here on earth; and spent Christmas Day with her husband and our mother and dad in her heavenly home. I know that was a happy and long awaited reunion. Gus had been gone for 26 years after suffering from cancer.
I love Louise and miss her, but how grateful I am for the life we shared. She was always loving and thoughtful, and I could not have asked for a better sister. When I left to come home after my visit with her, I said it was not "goodbye," but instead I told her, "I'll see you later." I know I will.
I am thankful for family;
and K. and I also have a loving relationship.
Behind us is the floral display from K. and Ina's family.
I appreciate Beth being our family photographer and taking all of these pictures. The following are some more of the photos she took on these two special days.
Blake and Niki and twins, Ashley and Holly.
K. LeRoi with David and Kayleen's family.
(Matt, David, K. LeRoi, Kayleen, Rachelle, and Mitchel Nelson;
Kristin and Skyler Brown)
Sam and Narene and five of our seven children.
(Marla, Scott, Narene, Sam, Ryan, Doug, and Beth)
Daughter-in-laws, sister, and nieces of Louise
(Lori Hyer, Kayleen Nelson, Marla Smith, Narene,
Lauri Hyer, Karalee Nelson, and Beth Graham)
Louise's sons, nephews, brother, and brother-in-law
(Ryan, Doug, and Scott Ireland; David and K. LeRoi Nelson;
Lon, Marlowe, Blake, and Kevin Hyer; and Sam)
Coming from South Dakota, Colorado, and Utah
(Doug, Sam, Scott, and Ryan)
Family gathering in Louise's home after the viewing
for visiting and eating.
I appreciate the gift from Blake that
he had intended to give to Louise as a memento
from the trip she went with them to Disneyland.
(K. LeRoi, Lon, Narene, and Blake)
In the two weeks Louise had after learning about
her prognosis, she had time to think about some of
the things she wanted to give to family. This painting
is of our mother in the Sacred Grove, which her
brother Alton painted and which Louise said she
would like me to have.
The table in the viewing room displaying the funeral program
and the floral bouquet (at the left) from Earl Hyer,
Louise's brother-in-law.
(27 May 1930 - 25 December 2011, birth and death date)
In the small open tray seen at the right in the open casket
was placed a copy of the funeral program along
with a copy of a love letter Gus wrote to Louise
before they were married.
The pall bearers begin the walk to the grave site.
Harold Nelson would have been a pall bearer,
but his bad cough kept him from coming to California.
Blake is pointing to his dad's name
on the memorial to veterans in the cemetery,
where Gus (Angus H. Hyer) is also buried.
The grave has been dedicated and family members
linger to visit before returning to the church
for a luncheon, after which the seven of us
got back in the van and headed for Utah.
The football fanatics (I mean "fans") check for the score
of the BYU-Tulsa bowl game and find out that BYU won.
(Sam, Doug, Scott, Ryan, and Davis Hyer)
The Relief Society had a lovely lunch ready for us back at the church in Wasco where the funeral was held. There was a variety of soups in crockpots to go with the sandwiches and desserts, and they sent sandwiches with us for our return trip.
It was about 1:30 a.m. when we got to Beth's in Spanish Fork. After a short night, we spent the morning visiting with our Utah family members. Sarah, Derek, and Trevor also came to Beth's, so Marla got to see them again after having her visit with them in South Dakota cut short by our leaving to go to the funeral.
We got back in the van again after enjoying our pizza lunch and then headed for Colorado to take Scott home. After spending New Years Eve with Scott and Kristine's family, we drove to Scottsbluff for a short stop to see Bill and Karen and their families, and then we arrived home about 8:30 that night feeling glad to finally be out of the van.
